Why Do We Have Bad Habits – A Must Read
By Mr. Self Development on Dec 22, 2009 in Goal Achievement, Thoughts
Have you ever wondered why you have bad habits? Why do you do what you don’t want to do? Such as overspend, overeat, smoke cigarettes, or any other bad habit. Today I want to briefly discuss why we have these bad habits and how we can break these bad habits starting today.
Let’s get right to it…
We use “bad habits” the way drug users use drugs. The bad habit takes our mind away from our boring lives and relieves our stress. The habit creates a reality that doesn’t really exist, a brief “utopia,” where things are just the way we want them to be.
A Parable
In the movie “The Matrix” the world has been taken over by machines. The earth is crumbling and falling apart, but no one is aware of it. The machines have taken over the minds of the people and they are unable to realize that their world is in shambles; everything appears to be in balance. This is how your bad habits work, the habit takes over your mind and creates a reality that doesn’t really exist…while your life falls apart.
Your mind allows this because the pain of your current reality is unbearable, the illusion of the matrix makes living much easier.
A Test
If you smoke cigarettes, decide not to smoke a cigarette for the next week, if you overeat regularly, decide not to overeat for the next week, whatever your habit, decide not to do it for the next seven days. If you make this decision, you will probably become somewhat depressed after you’ve stopped your habit for a few days.
The reason for this depression is because your mind doesn’t know how to deal with your current reality without the numbing effect of your bad habit, it’s the mind’s drug, it helps your mind cope with an unsatisfying reality.
An Example
If you go to the dentist to get a tooth removed, they will give you drugs. The drugs help you escape the pain of reality. The drugs take your mind away from the pain and help you cope with your current situation; just like your habit helps you cope with a mundane, stress-filled life.
In short, we use “bad habits” to deal with our stress and to briefly alleviate our boredom.
…and the longer we have the habit, the more of the habit we need to numb the pain that we are dealing with. If we are unable to break free from the habit, the habit will most likely cause us great harm and embarrassment.
How to break a “Bad Habit” in three steps:
Step 1: You will never break the habit until you make the decision to break the habit.
You must have very compelling reasons as to why you want the habit to end. I strongly suggest you write these reasons down. I also suggest you consider the potential consequences that you might face if the habit doesn’t end, these are usually good reasons to quit the habit (e.g. If I keep on smoking cigarettes I may develop lung cancer and die prematurely).
If you can’t come up with a good reason to stop, you won’t stop, plain and simple.
Step 2: Deal with the dissatisfaction and boredom in your life.
A major reason people develop bad habits is to cope with a dissatisfying and boring life. Instead of growing and becoming all that they are capable of becoming, they settle. This settling causes dissatisfaction. The dissatisfaction is temporarily satisfied by the bad habit. However, remember the matrix, while the bad habit (or drug) makes you feel like everything is fine, in the process it is tearing your world apart.
The solution is to face the pain of your reality and create your life the way you want it to be. It’s easy to remain on the “drug,” but the courageous thing to do is to face your reality and become the “you” …you were destined to be.
Step 3: Find a healthy way to relieve your stress.
Even if you’re living an exciting life where you’re accomplishing everything you desire to accomplish you may still struggle with a habit if your life is unbalanced.
In this case, the habit serves to give you the temporary illusion that you’re living a balanced life.
As an example: “You’re stressed out, so you overeat; when you overeat, you feel great!”
The food has given you a temporary sensation that everything is great and stress-free in your life. However, shortly after you finish eating that “chocolate cake and ice cream,” the pain of reality sets in (i.e. your life is not the way you want it to be); you must overeat again to re-gain the sense of happiness and balance.
The solution is to find a way (or create a life) where you deal with your stress on a daily basis in a healthy way. If you don’t “purpose” to deal with your stress in a healthy way, you will deal with your stress in an unhealthy way. The stress is “real,” and it has to be dealt with, I suggest you deal with it properly.
For me, daily prayer and meditation allows me to relieve my stress, it puts my life in balance, in perspective; it’s where I find my relevance. You must find a way to deal with your stress.
In Closing
If you can properly deal with the stress of life, if you can take-it-on and handle it, and if you can work towards creating the life you want, you won’t need the bad habit. You’ll discard the bad habit like a dirty rag; you’ll have no use for it.
Just like you’re not tempted to take “Tylenol” when you don’t have a headache, you won’t be tempted to perform a bad habit when you’re happy and living a balanced life!
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