How to Attract a Man, or Woman

By Mr. Self Development on Oct 27, 2009 in Relationships

I was at a wedding with my wife just a few days ago, and we were sitting at a table with several single women.

The time soon came for the bride to toss her bouquet to the “single ladies.”

One of the single ladies at our table remained seated while the other women went to the dance floor to attempt to catch the bouquet (which of course symbolizes, here in the U.S., that they will be the next person to get married).

My wife asked the “single lady” (who remained seated at our table) why she wasn’t heading to the dance floor to attempt to catch the bouquet; this young lady’s response is what inspired me to write this article today…

She responded saying, “It won’t do me any good; guys just want to date those kinds of girls.”

So today I want to talk about…

How to Attract a Man, or Woman

Remember this, if you don’t get anything else out of this article, “you don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.”

To attract an amazing spouse, you must become amazing; the good news is: “Everyone is capable of becoming amazing.”

In general, we tend to attract partners that are similar to us, relatively speaking. Put even more bluntly (and perhaps offensively to some), if your ideal male partner is a “10,” on a scale of 1-10, you want to make sure you’re a “10″ as well.

I’m not just talking about your “looks,” or your career exclusively; I’m referring to everything that you have to offer. You may be a “10″ in the looks category, and a “2″ in the attitude category. This would average to a “6,” (in this example); which means you should be looking for a partner who is a “6.”

The problem is, no one thinks their attitude is a “2.” They look in the mirror and see a “10,” then wonder why they keep on attracting “6’s.”

The “6″ they attract may be a “10″ in the looks department and a “2″ in the character department, so he cheats on them, and now they’re really confused.

It’s not enough to just excel in one area, you must have balance in what you offer the relationship. You can be beautiful on the outside, but if you’re a negative person, or if you show no respect, or if you have little compassion towards others, then it will certainly take away from your beauty.

Additionally, you can also be the nicest person in the world, but if you don’t take care of your body and your appearance, “like those girls,” you may have trouble attracting your ideal mate. If this offends anyone, I apologize, but it’s the truth.

These are very simplistic examples, people are far more complicated than this, and there are usually many, many more factors. But the fact remains; you are attracting on some level, “what you are.” As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together.

If a person you’re dating turns out to be a jerk. Remember you had a part to play in this, it was you who attracted this person, it was you who decided to go on a date with this person, and it was you who decided to continue the relationship.

Life is not just happening to you. Accept that you are playing a major role in your relationships. If every guy “you pick” is a jerk, then you are the common denominator in those situations.

You have to first deal with your issues. As Shakespeare so beautifully wrote, “the fault dear Brutus, lies not in our stars…but in ourselves.”

Now that I’ve raked you over the hot burning coals, what’s the solution?

There’s a saying that goes, “be the change you want to see in the world.” I like to say, be the person you want to date. If you want to attract the ideal man, you’re going to have to be the ideal woman (and vice versa). This seems fair, right? In order to become the “ideal” you may have to get a job, pick-up behind yourself, learn to cook, wear make-up, be nicer, change your diet, etc. The alternative option would be to lower your standard, which I don’t suggest, when you are capable of being better. …Be your best, to attract the best:

You’re going to have to work on your weak areas, the ones that you’re probably oblivious to. There’s a saying that goes, “To see us, as other’s see us, would from a number of blunders, free us.” You should ask someone close to you (who’s not afraid of hurting your feelings), what they think you should do in order become more attractive (not just physically) to the opposite sex, and don’t ask someone whose having the same problem you’re having. You may have to ask several people in order to determine the common denominators. …Are they all saying you need to be a little nicer? If so, then you can probably stand to be a little nicer. If they’re all saying you need to lose 20lbs, then you can probably stand to lose 20lbs.

Don’t say, “This is just who I am (accept me for me), I just happen to be ‘very controlling,’ etc. ” If you do, you will keep on attracting below your potential.

Somebody’s probably thinking, “But change is hard!” Yeah, and so is being alone on Christmas! Change is hard, but it’s worth it, …you deserve to have the very best!

In closing, determine to be your best, and you will receive the best.

Remember, there’s a vast difference between conformity and laziness, …so become a perfect 10 today (your very best) and you will attract the very best!

Thank you for reading mrselfdevelopment.com where every article expands your mind, increases your faith, and changes your life.

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