Dear Mr. Self Development,

How can I improve my self development growth?

Debra

One of the most effective ways to guarantee self-development growth in any area is to hire a good coach.  A coach (as I’m referring to) is anyone who has arrived where you desire to be, and who is willing to teach you how to succeed.  You follow your coach’s steps like you would follow a recipe; then you get similar results.  Most coaches charge a fee, which is fine, but today I want to discuss how you can hire a free coach.
 
As an example, I happen to be relatively disciplined and knowledgeable when it comes to working out and eating healthy.  However, my wife does not naturally share this passion, so what did she do to resolve this problem?  You guessed it, she asked me to be her coach.  As her coach I work with her to guarantee her success in the area of working out.
 
Six days a week I ensure we visit our home gym, for a good heart-pounding workout.  I don’t just suggest she go to the gym while I sit on the couch; as her hired coach, I ensure that we both go to the gym. I go as the coach and she goes as the coachee, or student.
 
Three days a week we do cardio training on the treadmill, where I track her time on a notepad.   As her coach I always ensure she progresses slightly better than the previous workout. 
 
Three days a week we do resistance or strength training, and once again I track her results.  This allows us the ability to monitor her progress and growth.
 
As far as the diet portion of being healthy; we have constructed a mutually agreed upon diet plan.  This plan includes the allowable caloric intake as well as a list of foods that are permitted to be consumed.  The diet is documented and reviewed weekly.
 
In this example, my wife is riding on my coattail, so to speak.  She gets the same results that I get because she’s doing the same thing that I’m doing.
 
You can do this type of coaching for a multiplicity of different areas, including:

1. Attire
2. Budgeting/Saving
3. Dancing
4. Golfing
5. Planning
6. Investing
7. Business
8. Fitness Program
9. Work Relations
10. Et cetera

You may be thinking, I don’t have a kind, generous, giving, loving, dedicated, spouse to coach me , you need not worry.  You can hire any willing friend, or one of your children to assist.  And, the commitment need not be as dedicated or time-consuming as the example above. 
 
You can also do a trade-off, whereby you help a friend achieve a goal and then they in-turn help you achieve a goal.  You may even want to come up with terms, such as, “this agreement shall last for one year,” etc. 
 
The agreement can be as simple as you ensuring your friend’s basement is finished properly, while he ensures you lose 40lbs this year.  What we’re trying to accomplish in, “hiring a free coach” is to utilize someone else’s strength.  Where you happen to be weak, you should find a partner that is strong, as to balance out the weakness.  What’s a big challenge for you, maybe a small challenge for someone else, and vice versa.
 
But here’s the best part, even though I’m not currently receiving any direct reciprocating training from my wife, I’m still benefiting in two major ways.
 
First, I’m benefiting because my wife is happy that I’m helping her where she is not strongest (happy wife, happy life, right).  She’s happy that she gets to experience benefits, which she may not otherwise experience, and I enjoy that too.  Her weakness is removed in my strength (and of course I have weaknesses, which are removed in her strength.)
 
Finally, if you’ve ever had the luxury of teaching a particular subject you know the process of teaching makes you better in that area.  You develop a deeper understanding of the material in the process of teaching.  You seem to work out all of the kinks, and that’s always a good thing.
 
Hopefully, I have inspired you to eliminate one of your weak areas through hiring a free coach.  I think I’ve convinced myself to ask my wife to teach me something new. 
 
When you hire a free coaches, you ensure you make the best use of all your resources, multiplying your potential.  As we know, a three-fold cord is not easily broken.
 
In concluding, here are a few tips to remember when hiring a free coach:

1. Select a coach who is excelling in the area you are looking to grow in
2. Ask someone to coach you with whom you have a great relationship; someone who wouldn’t mind coaching you
3. Come to an agreement on the terms, and make changes as necessary
4. Allow the person to coach you
5. Don’t forget that coaching and being coached should be an enjoyable experience
6. Finally, remember that “Friends are for comfort, but coaches are for change”

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